If you happen to be in the habit of writing a shopping list of sexual favours to be performed on/around/on/adjacent to a certain Mr Smith, you might not get the Mr Smith you had in mind.
Recalling the time his grandfather offered to help him sort through the mountains of fan mail, Matt told The Times Magazine:
The first letter he ever opened… was what he described as ‘very blue’. But he has a wonderful sense of humour, my granddad. So he gets this letter and it opens with, ‘I want to…’ you know… Well, you know, there was sucking and… All that stuff involved. It was pretty graphic.
But anyway, she (the fan who wrote the letter) was about 40 or 50 and asked me to go to her house in Essex, I think it was, and you know, ‘take care’ of all these things that she was describing.
So, as you do, his granddad replied:
My granddad wrote back, ‘Matt isn’t available but I’m his granddad and I am.’
And I must say his Granddad was a sensitive, gentle lover…no, wait. I’ve said too much…