Published on September 4th, 2011 | by Alasdair Shaw
Wedding of a Time Lord?
It’s always so hard to tell when Gallifreyans tie the knot.
This one however proved (will prove? – Ed) more complicated than most given the trans regenerational issues involved.
As per ancient Gallifreyan custom the wedding of Presidents (current, past or otherwise) of the High Council of Time Lords is required to be an Affair of State. And no-one does does Affairs of State better than the Time Lords.
The road to matrimony has not been easy for the Doctor. Special permissions had to be sought from the Celestial Intervention Agency to allow for multiple versions of him to be placed on the guest list, a consequence of him being the 407th, 409th, 411th and 415th President of the High Council.
Further complications arose when current President Rassilon refused to oversee the ceremony. When asked for a comment on the matter he had this to say “I’m not having anything to do with this. He tried to shoot me and then exiled me back into the Time War! I’d sooner crush the spikey haired interloper than see him wed! Gallifrey Rises!!!”
Rassilon’s refusal to conduct the ceremony meant the happy couple had to call on the services of the prior President, the Lady Romana. At first it seemed as if her unhappy marriage to the fourth regeneration of the groom might stand in the way of her participating, thankfully last minute talks between her and the 407th President of the High Council cleared the air. Giving an impromptu press conference outside the TARDIS afterwards, dressed only in a large white shirt and an overlong scarf, President Romana claimed she was thrilled to play her part in proceedings.
Several members of the High Council of Time Lords have been quite vocal in their objection to the Doctor’s marriage. This reporter spoke at length to a member of the Council who has asked not to be named.
“Well, it’s just not the done thing is it? I mean Jenny’s a lovely girl. We all adore her, we really do, but there’s the question of her origins. Some days she’s the biological daughter of his fifth incarnation and on others she was loomed from the DNA of his tenth self. Either way you look at matters they’re just a little too close to temporal incest for my liking.”
However, one of the privileges of having been President so often is the ability to brush little things like temporal incest out of the way using the Broom of Rassilon.
Once all the red tape was disposed of the wedding itself nearly went off without a hitch, the only slight hiccup being when a curly haired earth woman wearing a leather cat suit burst into the hall just as President Romana was asking “if any Time Lord has any reason why these two cannot be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace”. Her objection was hastily withdrawn and she ran from the hall muttering something about being too early.
Time Lords all over the universe held their breath as they watched the Father of the Bride hand over his daughter to her new husband, after all many of them speculated that the Blinovitch Limitation Effect might have prevented this from happening.
All the guests were in good spirits afterwards, especially Jamie McCrimmon who was now able to relax after executing his duty as Best Man. He was seen talking to various woman at different points of the evening, all of them ginger. Which one joined him back in his room after the reception remains a mystery for another day.