Kasterborous has in its hands a dossier, a file stained with the blood of fallen agents whose lives were cut short couriering it to our desk.
The warning from history inside chilled our bones; the threat it posed cut right to the quick of Middle England.
The word has to get out to every cake stand, every coconut shy and every feckless bouncy castle operator; the Daleks are invading our Village Fetes!
A recent case study serves as an interesting paradigm; Surrey was the location. The event: The Ewell Village Fair. TheÂ new mayor of Epson & EwellÂ , councillor Clive Smitheram, was organising a fundraiser forÂ his chosen charities; Dyscover (a speech and language program centre for those suffering with a a brain condition called Aphasia, The Samaritans (a 24- hour supportÂ centre for those suffering distress and despair)Â and Meru (a charity that builds custom made equipment for disabled children and young people.)
The Daleks, using their know aliases of Fred and William Clapp, snuck into the event wearing trilbys so not to attract untoward attention,Â and began to drum up support for the mayor’s causes which, if tragedy had not struck this helpless fete, would have been the first of many taking place in the coming six months.
Now those collections at Epsom Downs Racecourse on August 30,Â when racegoersÂ will beÂ invited to donate their winnings to raise funds for the charities will be unmanned.
The coach ready toÂ take passengers toÂ Portsmouth harbour on September 11th, for a boat trip around the harbour will be locked in its garage.
The Chopin Concert at the Epsom Playhouse on February 1, with a performance from the world-renowned pianist Adolpho Barabino will fall silent.
Shortly before she was atomised Mary Dixson, secretary to the Mayorâ€™s Charities, said:
â€œIt is important to donate as the mayorâ€™s chosen charities are locally based and provide excellent support to those in need.â€
Those in need now are the few remaining survivors of Operation: Chuggers.
With this new evidence; hopefully we can un-spin the tombolas, unhook the ducks and win back the cuddly toys for our village fetes.
Join us brothers and sisters: good night and good luck.
To donate to any of the charities click on the links above.