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Published on May 3rd, 2010 | by Mick Karma

Early Scares?

Well, this one was signposted as soon as the rescheduling of The Vampires of Venice was announced, placing Doctor Who at its earliest start time for 30+ years – the Daily Mail are already doing a bad impersonation of Mary Whitehouse.

Declaring that:

During the 1970s terrified children would hide behind the sofa in a bid to escape the Daleks.

But these days Doctor Who fans have a lot more to be frightened of than a slow moving piece of tin.

…the Daily Mail clearly haven’t the faintest idea what they’re talking about. Doctor Who was already scary for children, whether Daleks, Ice Warriors, Cybermen, the Master and his Tissue Compression Eliminator, half-man/half-Dalek Davros or even the Doctor being freeze-framed drowned at the end of The Deadly Assassin part 3.

The Vampires of Venice in Doctor Who - scary?But no, noticing that there is little or no resistance to the length of Amy Pond’s skirts, they’re going for the Doctor Who jugular – scares.

Given that Vampires of Venice has been rescheduled so that the following show – There’s Something About Joseph Over The Rainbow or something – doesn’t get shafted in the ratings by Britain’s Got Talent.

So – vampires in Doctor Who too early at 6pm?

“…as the aliens get ever more inventive, parents are sure to question whether their children can handle the excitement.”

That’s right – the revolutionary new menace of vampires! It’s almost as if they could have shot to pulp literary success much earlier – perhaps the 19th century – such is the whole romantic and classical concept of the immortal plasmovore…

As far as I was aware – and correct me if I’m wrong – but one of the main reasons children watch Doctor Who is to be, well, scared.

There’s a General Election this week – it’s not like it could possibly be a slow news day – so what exactly are the Daily Mail on about? Vampires are pretty  much de rigeur these days on TV (and read this to see why Doctor Who has a special relationship with such creatures…) so could this be the beginning of an anti-Who campaign by a newspaper sniffing a BBC-cutting Conservative victory?


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About the Author


Mick has been writing on and off for Kasterborous since 2006, and when he's not attempting self sufficiency he writes the songs that no one hears (because they are not listening). Currently working on a comic book, Nazis vs Aliens, which requires an artist. Please email to discuss.

4 Responses to Early Scares?

  1. avatar krumstets says:

    The Daily Mail seems to have a lot of slow news days these days.
    Yes, they really are clutching at straws and fantasising that we still live in a bygone era.
    I do recommend reading that rag online for free. To witness the dying screams of er- Midddle England – is a joy to behold.
    Never mind scary vampires, if you want to be truly terrified read The Daily Hate and let them take you on a journey where reality and nightmares are one…….

  2. avatar siteiow says:

    6pm isn’t much different from 6:15pm or 6:45pm which is about the times the other episodes of who this series have been shown. it’s a whole non-story.

    the story here is that an inventive scripted show (Doctor Who) is being shunted around timeslots due to silly reality based tv. That’s the real story here and it’s scarier than anything on Doctor Who.

  3. avatar castellanspandrell says:

    If the Daily Mail tells me to be scared of vampires, then that’s good enough for me.

    Vampires, and Poles. Coming over here, scrounging our benefits and taking all our jobs. They eat swans too, you know. Uncooked.

    And single parent lesbians, teaching our schoolkids ‘Ada and Eve.’

    Then there’s those women in the funny hoods. Why should their religion be taught at our schools? God is better anyway.

    We’re all heading for hell in a handcart, and someone’s tampered with the brakes! Only the Mail, last bastion of true British curtain-twitching decency, has the guts to stand up for British values and say what we all really think!

  4. avatar Rick714 says:

    I get real tired of these knuckleheads who cry “scare” every time there’s a possibly scary Who ep coming up. It mystifies those of us with brains but this will always be the case.

    Those “journalists” always play right into DW’s hands anyway. Ratings go up every time they start their complaining. Because yes, kids and pretty much everyone else like to be scared in this fashion.

    The Hinchcliffe/Holmes/Baker years, one of if not THE best who ever, always had “scare” complaints from Mary Whitehouse and the peanut gallery and every time they did, up went the ratings.

    So really, I guess, keep those complaints coming, you’re only helping the cause!

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