So here is Kasterborous’ list of the top ten disguises used by batty Time Lord the Master!

Before we get down to business it’s worth giving an honourable mention to those that didn’t make the cut, take a bow: The Adjudicator, Mr. Seta, Street Preacher, The Sheriff, Count Marius Castillo, George Steer, Merlin (that’s right, before the events of Battlefield as well) and McMaster.

Now the criteria for choosing just what makes a good disguise are:

1) The name of the temporary character must be a pun, anagram or a direct translation of his own name,

2) It must have dubious value as a disguise; for instance, disguising yourself on a planet where no one knows who you are in the first place and

3) It must be used to gain access to either technology, an event or a planet with far-reaching consequences, say, for example using a disguise to access TITAN or influence the signing of the Magna Carta.

Let us proceed…

10. Kalid – Time-Flight

Having escaped Castrovalva via the magic of needing to be in this serial, the Master dons the pointless disguise of Kalid , an Asian trickster who possesses knowledge of the powerful alien gestalt; the Xeraphin in this “We have a Concorde, so let’s use it!” in Fifth Doctor serial.

Why is it so pointless?

No one on the planet knows who he is – so unless he expected the Doctor to eventually turn up and ruin his overly complex and convoluted plan there’s no need for the subterfuge.

The only explanation for having gone to such lengths is that it afforded him easy access into the citadel – although that isn’t explicitly said in the script – and it couldn’t have been possession like Tremas before him, because that raises all sorts of questions about the Masters lifespan.

Plus, he’s seen taking the costume off!

Unless this was a literal possession (the mechanics of which would be astounding) then he wouldn’t be peeling layers off and chastising the Doctor for, yet again, failing to understand his plan (the Doctor wasn’t the only one.)

The real problem is that unlike those early Delgado serials where the character developed and the circumstances changed with each appearance the Master seems to be stuck in the same rut he was in way back in Logopolis – affording us little new insight into his and the Doctor’s relationship.

9. Sir Giles Estram – The King’s Demons

When your own lead character acknowledges that this plot to stop the signing of the Magna Carta is ‘small-time’ then you really have no choice but to question why on Earth the Master was there in the first place – let alone donning the utterly unconvincing persona of Sir Giles Estram – “The King’s Anagram”.

Both Kalid and Estram seem to have been constructed to undermine the Master’s menace – both represent the nadir of shoe-horning him into plots that really don’t call for his presence (just what was he doing before the Doctor appeared? Why did he wait for him to arrive to implement his plan?)

The biggest tell in this serial is the reveal, which judging by the 13th century character’s reactions, made absolutely no difference to the story – again like Kalid, there’s little reason for him to don the disguise other than preparing for the Doctor’s inevitable arrival.

8. Bruce – Doctor Who: The Movie

Poor Bruce.

It’s not easy being a paramedic, especially when rogue Chinese gangs keep killing eccentrically dressed older gentlemen who stand around anachronistic police boxes right at the end of your shift.

Not that we have any time to feel the loss of Bruce when the Master’s morphant swallows his soul – Bruce is used solely by the Master in a moment reminiscent of The Terminator to find out what happened to John Smith, only with out the menace…or the car through the doors…or a sense of purpose.

Bruce’s life is little more than a snoring joke and a hokey eye effect – it’s a shame that when he does become the Master that more isn’t made of the life interrupted – Napa Valley wasn’t too far away, how about a Sideways style story featuring the Bruce-Master and his old college roommate heading out for one last wild weekend of wine and women?

It couldn’t be any worse, right. After all the Master is only really there to prove that Terry Nation was indeed a powerful man.

7. Portreeve – Castrovalva

The Master makes plans like frustrated novelists write books – each week there’s twenty different ideas ready to be utilised and all of them fail. There built to fail in fact. How else could you explain the plan within a plan of both setting the TARDIS on a collision course with Event One and inputting the entirely fictional planet of Castrovalva into the TARDIS’ index file?

He must have known one or the other was going to fail. In fact, going back to Logopolis, he must have assumed that the Doctor wouldn’t be killed by his fall from the radar dish else why would he have gone to the trouble of constructing such a scheme?

For someone so keen on planning ahead; it seems a little unnecessary to construct a trap with so many variables: Why did the Master give the people of Castrovalva free will? Did he get lost in the details of his world? Did he believe that by giving them free will it make the trap more difficult to escape once he had manipulated the people with Portreeve?

Portreeve was a slightly less successful incarnation of Tremas – a likeable, rounded character who in this instant turned out to be the Master rather than forcibly turned into the Master.

All the credit rightly goes to Anthony Ainsley who always made the most of the material he was given – making his Master eminently more boo-able than the previous incarnations.

6. A Member of The Four Horsemen - Smash Hit

Music is a part of the Master’s character – he not only has a penchant for the Scissor Sisters but, according to PDA novel Deadly Reunion he also played the drums in the Gallifrey Academy Hot Five. That’s right – he not only hears the sound of drums, he plays them.

However he left his tub thumping behind him when, in the 1973 Doctor Who Holiday Special, Smash Hit he hypnotised an up and coming pop group The Swifts, gave them a suitably ominous new name, The Four Horsemen, and set about hypnotizing the population (who were all listening in to Billy ‘the Kid’ Kiddsley’s show) to converge at Stonehenge – although he really doesn’t have much of a plan for the population of the UK other than a bit of converging.

It’s not really made clear how the entire population managed to be listening to the same radio station at the same time. Neither is it explained how the Doctor and the Brigadier managed to avoid being brainwashed either (although in as seen in Terror of the Autons, a strong will can deter the effects) or why the characteristically hypnotic Master suddenly needs a mind control machine when the crowds start to gather at Stonehenge (we’ve all seen Paul McKenna, surely there has to be a safety word to break the spell? People don’t stop being Chickens once they’ve had a quick flap and cluck. It’s just poor planning on his behalf.)

Still it doesn’t really matter when the whole thing wraps up with the Brigadier, under the Master’s control (yeah, now it works), trying to kill the Doctor, who thanks to a non-specific command to ‘kill’ avoids regeneration as the Brig in turn starts to ‘kill’ the Master.

With the mind control device destroyed, all that’s left for the Doctor to do is to tell one of the doubtful members of The Swifts that getting out of the pop scene might just be a good idea – as if this happens quite a lot to the Bay City Rollers.

The Master wasn’t quite done with pop music though. In PDA novel Hidden Talent he again employees his hypnotic powers to rig a talent show which if he just used a phone in could have netted him millions.

5. Colonel Masters/Telephone Engineer – Terror of the Autons

The Master is a lot of things but he’s not a details man.

His recklessness with his disguises and, eventually, his allegiance to the cause is something that follows through all incarnations of the character. You always get the sense that even if he had gone to such lengths to create a plausible ruse, all it would have brought him was time.

The fact that he changes his mind so quickly after the Doctor attempts to persuade him to repel the Nestene invasion is perhaps a sign that he was struggling with the grandness of his scheme – albeit one that he clearly couldn’t wait to share with the world.

For a man with a hypnotic hold on the human race its difficult to see why he bothered with the cunning disguise of Colonel Masters (perhaps his lack of imagination hints at the apathy he feels towards such disguises?) after all he could have simply ceased control of the Farrell Family plastics works without the incredibly thin cover of Masters (if he can adopt realistic face masks like that of the telephone engineer and his wayward flex – then why not use an existing customer of the factory as his disguise?)

Although we would have been denied one of the most iconic/mocked moments in Doctor Who – Mr. McDermott’s Ed Wood style death by chair.

4. Professor Thascales – The Time Monster

The Time Monster largely fails to recapture the potent alchemy of The Daemons – a serial it tries to ape in all but execution. The one saving grace of this tale of Atlantis is Roger Delgado and UNIT’s gradual awareness of the Master’s tricks.

The serial does a nice job of pointing out the absurdity of the Master operating under the nose of UNIT: Benton isn’t fooled by his impersonation of the Brigadier (again, it’s the details that let the Master down), the Master under the guise of Professor Thascales (Greek for “Master”) pretends to be a pacifist in order to avoid eating lunch with The Brigadier and there’s a nice moment where the Master gleefully hypnotised Percival – making him think of the ‘good old days’.

The serial is a great example of a disguise adding to the character rather than undermining his menace – the fact that he seems unable to muster a Greek accent to save his life makes him much more likeable.

A PDA sequel The Quantum Archangel sees the Master – under the guise of Branko Gospodar – a Serbian Businessman (and yes, that is Serbian for “˜Master”) not learning any lesson’s from the events of The Time Monster while brazenly attempting to both kill off the Chronovores, by cutting off their food supply the Lux Aeterna, and revitalise his withering old Trakenite body using the very same power source.

The translation trend continued on in the PDA novel series with Police Inspector Lemaitre in Last of the Garderene (French) and Estro in Legacy of the Daleks (Esperanto).

3.Professor Yana – Utopia

Finally, all it took was for the Master to rewrite his entire DNA signature just to get a disguise that actually worked.

Professor Yana is a tormented man. Carrying the hopes of the human race on his shoulders and haunted by the ever presence sound of drums (not to mention the terrible coffee) his race for the prize is hampered by the conditions he finds himself on Malcassairo.

But all is saved when the Doctor, Martha and Captain Jack arrive and unwittingly break the perception filter around the Master’s Fob watch – leading to perhaps the most exciting ten minutes of television ever for anyone who holds a candle for the great Doctor/Master conflict of old.

Derek Jacobi, who had previously played an android version of the Master in the BBC webcast series Scream of the Shalka, plays the kindly, warm Professor beautifully – making his betrayal of Chantho all the more heartbreaking, and his reveal deviously malevolent.

2. Harold Saxon – The Sound of Drums/The Last of the Time Lords

The layering of Saxon into each episode leading up to Utopia was still as clumsy as ‘Bad Wolf’ but thanks to the massive impact of the Master’s return, everything was forgiven.

This time Harold Saxon – the Prime Minister who was (satire alert!) all style and no substance – didn’t rely on the Master’s actual hypnotic effect on people (which was hit and miss most of the time) but instead used the Archangel Network to create a physic matrix around himself – making him irresistible to voters.

That’s not the only old school trick the Master kept. His disguise was now explicitly designed to gain entry to the upper echelons of power albeit with the same amount of care for the details and with just about the same level of patience with his own schemes as before.

Saxon also has the same level of charm and charisma that Delgado brought to his persona; Saxon had to be a convincing, if fraying at the edges, to work.

The line maybe very thin between the Master and Saxon but it’s definitely there, even if it’s a a little too meta to be as engaging as it could be.

1. Rev. Magister – The Daemons

Kicking off a trend of adopting direct translations of his own name – in this case Latin – the Master dons the guise of a ‘rationalist, existentialist’ priest in this classic Barry Letts era serial.

Roger Delgado is the epitome of cool, charming evil – there’s something deeply malevolent in seeing him dressed in robes and a dog collar – its one of the more successful attempts by the Master at taking on a persona rather than using another character in the show as a disguise – a trait that affected the Anthony Ainsley era.

If his own magisterial red robes weren’t so indelible it would have been disappointing to see him back in his… normal appearance.

Certainly, The Sarah Jane Adventures is one of the most original children’s shows to be produced in the last five years and that was thanks to the genius of Russell T Davies and Phil Ford. But now Davies feels that children’s television is an “endangered species” that needs help and as it turns out, he’s on hand to save the day!

Aliens Vs Wizards is a new BBC television series made for CBBC, just like The Sarah Jane Adventures was. It follows the adventures of two sixteen year old boys, one a wizard and one in possession of a very intelligent scientific brain. The boys team up to fight an alien menace called the Nekross and to ultimately save the day.

This is the new brainchild of Davies and Ford, which already sounds like it’s going to be an instant smash hit, mixing Doctor Who and Harry Potter means there will be something for everyone! Davies not only reintroduced the world to Doctor Who in 2005 but is also produced Children’s Ward for CITV in the 1990’s and so has deep roots in children’s television.

But will his new show be enough for the kids and their imaginations? With the loss of The Sarah Jane Adventures due to the untimely passing of Elisabeth Sladen, Aliens Vs Wizards is one of the only troopers that appear to be fighting a losing battle. There are certainly some shows available for kids but how many will remain standing?

Hopefully Davies and his writing friends have a few more ideas up their sleeves yet!

Still life

Okay, so The Android Invasion isn’t the perfect story; as many have noted in the past, there are numerous plot holes and gaffs. But, as with most Terry Nation scripts – or, indeed, sci-fi – you have to just go along with the fun of it all.

And there’s a lot to enjoy. There are some cracking lines – “is that finger loaded?” – and the Doctor and Sarah are on top form. The village of Devesham is a wonderful backdrop for a tale essentially about image.

The Android Invasion sees the Doctor and Sarah land in a deserted area. In both this and Invasion of the Dinosaurs, it’s creepy stuff – and nothing is quite what it seems. Devesham is a typically ‘English’ place, entirely relatable, making the empty pub and the unloading of villagers from trucks particularly unsettling.

The woods (filmed in Tubney) are a nice compliment to the village and contrast to the Star Trek-esque spaceships, although might’ve felt a bit ‘same-old’ to viewers at the time, after the early leaf-encrusted episodes of Pyramids of Mars.

But there are three things that everybody remembers about The Android Invasion. Firstly, the Doctor tied to the monolith at the centre of the village. It’s an arresting sight even though the Time Lord’s been tied up an incalculable amount of times over the years.

Then there’s the cliffhanger to episode two. I’m not going to spoil it for you, but it’s a scene that’s been celebrated so many times over the years, it’s hard to escape the revelation. Even if you know it’s coming, it’s still somehow shocking.

“I will now activate the hostility circuits.”

Finally… the Kraals. It’s no secret that they’re not the best realised monsters in Doctor Who’s history. They wear silver Doc Martens, for one. Overall, you might not be entirely convinced that these bumbling turtle-esque monstrosities could take over the world, although they are somewhat reminiscent of the Sontarans in their mannerisms – and nonsensical logic.

Even though the Doctor says they could take the Earth by force, the three Kraals we see (Styggron, Chedaki and an unnamed underling) are going for – ahem – silent but deadly. Or as Styggron tells us: “The androids will disseminate a virus. It will cause a contagion so lethal, the Earth will be rid of its human population within three weeks. Then it will burn itself out and the world will be ours.”

Why? I’m not quite sure. They’re clearly nervous around the virus. But it’s another grisly, underhand, guerrilla tactic to take over the planet and fits in really well; a story all about image switches to something that you can’t see – aside from its bubbling effects. Just ignore the holes in their plan.

The Android Invasion plays with perceptions beautifully, in fact. The idea that nothing is as it seems is a hugely clichéd but endlessly rewarding one. It clearly has roots in Invasion of the Body Snatchers and had, at one stage, the working title, The Enemy Within.

Though a central part of their plan, Milton Johns’ Guy Crayford is also misguided by the Kraals – in more ways than one. As Neil Harris states in DWM #443, the “eye-patch scene is either the greatest or worst plot twist in Doctor Who’s history.” (Johns, meanwhile, is well-versed in Who, having also appeared as Benik in The Enemy of the World and would next be seen in The Invasion of Time.)

Nobody can be trusted.

(Aside from the Brigadier, naturally, who doesn’t appear in this story as Nicholas Courtney was unavailable during filming. And the Kraals couldn’t duplicate such a unique person.)

Android Nation

That’s not to say that there isn’t anything spectacular to the tale.

As with any Terry Nation script – and noted in the DVD sleeve – there’s:

• A ticking bomb;
• A virus;
• The threat of radiation;
• Duplicates.

…But no Daleks. Though there were rumours that the story originally included the menacing Skaro monsters, it’s simply not true. The Kraals were always there, in all their gruff glory.

The aliens drew over 11 million viewers to the serial regularly, with a huge 12.1 million watching Part Three.

The Android Invasion is the second – and final – Terry Nation script not to feature his most famous creations, the first being 1964’s The Keys of Marinus. Nation would disappear from Whodom for four years; his next story, Destiny of the Daleks, was also his last for the show.

Harry Sullivan is far from an imbecile

Though they play such small parts in The Android Invasion, it would be impossible not to mention Ian Marter’s Harry Sullivan and John Levene’s Benton, both of whom appear for the last time in the series.

Benton was first seen in The Invasion, fighting off Cybermen alongside Lethbridge-Stewart and UNIT, and appeared on-screen opposite three different Doctors in sixteen serials (plus a flashback in Mawdryn Undead).

Marter first appeared in Doctor Who in Carnival of Monsters, but went on to play Harry Sullivan from Robot to Terror of the Zygons as a regular. He was responsible for writing several TARGET novelisations, including Earthshock, Doctor Who and the Ark in Space and Doctor Who and the Ribos Operation. He also worked alongside Tom Baker on a feature film script, titled Doctor Who Meets the Scratchman.

Marter, however, died on his 42^nd birthday in 1986, and remains one of the show’s best-loved companions (and a personal favourite of mine).

Though often forgotten or underrated, The Android Invasion is the end of an era, and more than earns its place in Doctor Who history.

Doctor Who: The UNIT Files is out now which means you can get The Android Invasion and Invasion of the Dinosaurs for just £22.47 from Amazon!

Who is your favourite companion? Who is the TARDIS traveller you would happily see cast into a supernova (or left on a space freighter on a collision with prehistoric Earth)?

We tackle these questions and others in the latest Kasterborous podKast with a K, starring Christian Cawley, Brian Terranova and James McLean.

If you’re a fan of Amy Pond, Adric or Dodo, look away now. Or avoid pressing play, one or the other.

On the other hand, if you like the idea of the Fourth Doctor travelling through time and space with a couple of old codgers or Donna Noble teaming up with the Sixth Doctor then hit the button, sit back and enjoy!

Surprised by the discovery of a long-lost Doctor Who audio script recorded by Peter Cushing and written by Malcolm Hulke? We certainly were, and when contacted by the Nothing at the End of the Lane chaps last week we had to double-take.

If like us reading about the new material in the times wasn’t quite enough for you, the latest edition of the most thorough of fan publications is probably where you should be heading right now (www.endofthelane.co.uk/magazine.html).

No doubt like us you also felt that this has all come as something as a complete surprise. James McLean, Brian Terranova and Christian Cawley decided to tackle this particular topic in their latest podKast, dovetailing off occasionally to discuss the 1960s Dalek movies starring Peter Cushing.

Not listened to our podKast yet? You can “entertain” yourself with our unique brand of anarchic Whovian whimsy for around 30 minutes by subscribing to the RSS feed or even find us on iTunes, where you’ll find a review.
(We didn’t write it.)

Okay, so it’s no use hiding it: the story will always be remembered as ‘the one with those terrible dinosaurs,’ but the scale is brilliantly ambitious, and shows the courage of the writer and the production team. Oh, and the cliffhanger at the end of episode three is jaw-dropping.

Invasion

Invasion of the Dinosaurs debuted on 12^th January 1974 to an audience of 11 million. The following episodes hovered between 9 and 11 million, until its conclusion gained a slightly disappointing (but still pretty impressive) 7.5 million viewers.

The second story in Season 11 saw the return of the UNIT family, who were mostly absent during the previous storyline, The Time Warrior, in which Sarah Jane joined the TARDIS. It’s hinted at that some time has passed between the two tales in the opening minutes (actually because actress Elisabeth Sladen had cut her hair between serials for a photoshoot!)

The 11^th Season was the last with Jon Pertwee as the Doctor, while Invasion of the Dinosaurs is the penultimate tale featuring Richard Franklin as Captain Mike Yates. Yates returns in Planet of the Spiders and has since appeared opposite Tom Baker’s Fourth Doctor in AudioGo’s original audio series set at Nest Cottage.

Peter Miles, who plays Professor Whitaker, previously appeared in the Malcolm Hulke-penned Doctor Who and the Silurians, but is best-known for portraying Nyder in Genesis of the Daleks. His associate, Butler, was played by Martin Jarvis, who also starred in The Web Planet and Vengeance on Varos, and read the TARGET novel audio adaptation in 2007. The original TARGET novelisation was first printed in 1976.

Trying to conceal the revelation at its end, episode one was titled on-screen as ‘Invasion’ by script editor, Terrance Dicks; however, the surprise was ruined by the Radio Times (who’d’ve thought it?) when they printed its real title.

Dicks later reflected that this was a mistake, though also that RT “are a law unto themselves.” Writer, Malcolm Hulke also has issues with its title, concluding that its working name, “TimeScoop“, was better…

The Incredible Hulke

Invasion of the Dinosaurs is the last story written by Malcolm Hulke before his death in 1979, at the age of 54. Though he is best known for creating the Silurians and Sea Devils, he also wrote Colony in Space, Frontier in Space and did uncredited re-writes on The Ambassadors of Death, as well as the TARGET novels to six stories, expanding upon the backgrounds of several minor characters.

He first contributed to Doctor Who with a storyline called The Hidden Planet (or Behind the Sun) for Season 1, but it ultimately went unused. Hulke eventually got his on-screen credit alongside David Ellis in The Faceless Ones, then co-wrote the Second Doctor’s final tale, The War Games with Terrance Dicks.

Malcolm Hulke also wrote the recently-discovered pilot script for a Doctor Who radio series, Journey into Time, featuring Peter Cushing’s alternate Doctor and his granddaughter arriving amidst the American Revolution. The story was never broadcast, but was known to exist when promotional material surfaced in 1989.

Invasion of the Dinosaurs continued the writer’s fascination with environmentalism, with the promise of a ‘New Earth.’ Though Sarah Jane is horrified by the thought, and the environmentalists are – on the whole – cast as the antagonists, there’s a focus on how the human race have damaged the world – reminiscent of Doctor Who and the Silurians – and their vision is nicely portrayed by a ‘traitor’ in UNIT.

Perhaps the moral of the tale is that we can all have ideals, but it’s not always worth the means.

Or in other words: it’s not that easy being green. (Sorry.)

It’s Always Greener on the Other Side

The DVD release of Invasion of the Dinosaurs features a black-and-white version of part one on default, as the episode hasn’t been seen in colour since transmission. However, the Restoration Team has included a partly-recovered colour episode as a special feature, which, although not to the same standard as Day of the Daleks, for instance, gives the viewer a good impression of how the original would have looked.

There is a myth that episode one was erased from the archives due to the edited title – ‘Invasion’ – and was confused with 1968’s The Invasion, which saw the Second Doctor, Zoe and Jamie battle the Cybermen. However, The Invasion was wiped two years before Invasion of the Dinosaurs was transmitted; it is, in fact, unknown why the latter was deleted.

The 16mm black-and-white print version was included on the video release, back in 2003, when the serial concluded the BBC’s video range.

Ignore the critics, who get sidelined by some occasional dodgy CSO. Go into Invasion of the Dinosaurs with the open-mindedness, imagination and appreciative nature of Hulke, director, Paddy Russell, and the whole production team.

As you may have read here, Brian was invited onto a Doctor Who panel at the Kotoricon event, so regaled the team with stories of cosplay and topics that were discussed. Meanwhile Christian travelled to Manchester to view the live performance of Russell T Davies’ “Midnight” (reviewed last week).

Poor old James did nothing, but that’s okay on this occasion as he is able to ask the right questions on your behalf, dear listener.

If you haven’t listened to our podKast yet, our listener is getting lonely so if you do feel like trying it you can entertain yourself with Whovian whimsy for 30 or so minutes by subscribing via the RSS feed or even find us on iTunes, where you’ll find a surprisingly complimentary review (fiver’s in the post…)!

The answer is quite simply no. But there are people out there who find some of his episodes of Doctor Who, Sherlock and other shows a wee bit tinged in male domination.

A recent post on the New Statesman website by Helen Lewis Hasteley has presented an interesting and lively debate about whether some of Moffat’s scripts bestow that the writer has a problem with women. This comes from a blog written by Zoe Stavri, who takes part in the debate, who expressed that the character of Irene Adler in the new series of Sherlock was not as strong in gender specific ways as she was in her first appearance in literature over 120 years ago.

The pros and cons of the debate are both fascinating and have some very strong points to make. Hasteley is very much in the pro Moffat camp, arguing that the writer has changed the female characters in his various scripts for the better and put them on an even keel with their male counterparts. Stavri on the other hand, who is also a Moffat fan, notes several changes in classic characters that may not be for the better including this:

“Returning to Sherlock, there were unfortunate implications to Adler being “beaten” by Sherlock, recasting an independent woman character as one who is ultimately less good than a man and needs to be rescued. This does not exist in a vacuum: it exists in a broader context wherein female characters are largely inferior to men anyway, and in the minds of many, women are still the weaker sex.”

One might argue that it’s not the fact that Irene Adler is beaten in Sherlock that should be focused on but the littler moments that empower her. She may well have been beaten by the detective but she had both Sherlock and Mycroft in her power at one point. To best one Holmes is clever but to best two at the same time is downright genius. Looking at Moffat’s other work; he gives women some of the most powerful roles in Doctor Who, elevating them higher than any male could dream to reach. Look how Madame de Pompadour takes the Doctor’s breath away in 2006’s The Girl In The Fireplace. The 900 year old alien literally sacrifices his home and his friends to be with her in the blink of an eye because he realises that Pompadour is every part his equal. Let’s not forget that this is the man who also created River Song, one of the strongest characters to ever appear in Doctor Who and certainly not someone who could ever be bested.

Moffat writes stories these days that involve male leads and so ultimately the focus will be from their perspective but that by no means is an indication that he doesn’t know just how powerful woman are. However, if we all agreed on something there would be no excitement in the world so have a read of the debate and give us your thoughts on the matter!

As a result this new podKast discusses the amazing news of the rediscovery of these episodes as well as giving Brian, James and Christian the chance to suggest existing episodes that might be apt for accidental loss…

First time you’ve stumbled across our podKast?

You can here more episodes past and present by subscribing via the RSS feed or even find us on iTunes, where you’ll find a very complimentary review!

This message is being amplified by The Copper Foundation’s Trans-Pulse Network, bouncing off five satellites, aligned with the Tau Ceti Star, the Medusa Cascade, the Horsehead Nebula, the Mutter’s Spiral and Clom. Apparently, it’s not the most sophisticated way to send a message back through the time vortex, but it should work.

I think I remember this being published on Kasterborous – a mysterious article, supposedly written by me… though I didn’t know when I actually did it. I guess it works then.

Anyway. I’m here to give you hope. I remember January, just about. Rumblings about castings; confusion about air dates; the ongoing fear that Matt Smith and Steven Moffat will leave imminently.

Well, calm down. 2012 was just grand.

The Grand Moff brought with him one of the best series – ever. We saw brand-new enemies of course, but it was fantastic to see the return of the Daleks – with a new puce foot soldier to add to their ranks – the Ice Warriors, the Silence and – oh, who could forget the Chumblies?! Wow.

The series opener? Mind-blowing. And good on Mr. Moff: though loads of people kicked off, he stuck with the title, Spoiler of the Spoilers.

The season finale? Oh, how the nation cried. End of a series. There were reports of self-harming, until the Beeb revealed that Doctor Who would return at Christmas,
with The Doctor and the Bleak House. It was ‘too complex,’ naturally, because it involved the phrase, “Button mushrooms! How did you save the universe with button mushrooms?!” But all the non-Daily Mail readers lapped it up.

Matt Smith has officially been voted the Best Doctor Of All Time, and has no plans to quit before the decade closes. There were street parties with bunting and those little cakes with edible ball bearings. Of course, it didn’t stop the newspapers from betting who would take over the role. The Telegraph launched a new tabloid, The T, which guesses that the  will be played by either a fish/human hybrid or David Beckham.

The Olympics, in case you were wondering, went swimmingly. Especially the swimming. It was a surprise to see the Long Jump on Brighton Beach, but it all worked out in the end. It was also nice that Sir Boris let David Tennant carry the flame for a while too, although he later admitted he thought he was Leonard Nimoy. Awkward.

The Opening Ceremony was fantastic, despite the crowd briefly disappearing.

Of course, the heartbreak of the year was when Amy and Rory left the TARDIS for good. It was spectacular though. Both have huge careers ahead of them, and they’ll always have the fans chasing them for autographs, photos and anecdotes. The power of Doctor Who, readers. The Power of Doctor Who.

2012, eh! What a year. You’ll love it.

Oh, yes, ‘course! You’re scratching your head, asking how I exist in 2013. Good news – the world didn’t end. It nearly did, but the Doctor saved us all using a quantum-particle accelerator, The Killers’ new album and an iPhone app that records your mates’ voices and plays them at a slightly-higher pitch.

…Uhm, not the Doctor. ‘Cause everyone knows he’s dead. I mean, Lee from Lancashire.