Like so much partially-digested Kangaroo penis there’s no keeping I’m a Celebrity…Get Me out of Here down – and this year Doctor Who fans are being forced into having an opinion on the casual animal cruelty, the dignity sheading tantrums and the inevitable moment where the celebrities eat each other; with the arrival of Sixth Doctor Colin Baker in the jungle.
Speaking to Digital Spy Colin has revealed the weighty issue that got him to join the likes of Brian Conley, an ‘anti-politics politician’ (which to the people of Mid-Bedfordshire must be as reassuring as putting their faith in an ‘anti-brakes car’) and press conference brawler David Haye in the jungle:
I’m a fat b**tard! That’s the only reason. I’m 20 stone at the moment and I’d love to lose 5 stone in the jungle. I’m not a great drinker, so it’s all down to food. Bangers and mash, beans on toast… I’m British you know.
And being British, Colin’s self-depreciation extends to his chances of being crowned the King of the Jungle:
If I were crowned king, I would be chuffed beyond reason. I haven’t won an awful lot in my life, so it would mean quite a lot to win something now. I’m going into the jungle with the intention of winning. I’m certainly not going to go for the easy option of being fairly boring and getting voted out early so that I can swim around in a luxury hotel while the others battle it out.
That’s commitment and it’s matched by the response to his appearance in the jungle by the Doctor Who community:
Bless the Doctor Who fans. I was in the show from 1983 to 1986… Blimey, it’s been 30 years since I did the programme! Well, they have all been faithfully loyal. There have been a lot of rumours flying around about me going into the jungle and I was trying to avoid any contact with people after I signed up – but they have already been very supportive. I know that my legion of wonderful people will vote for me. Bless them.
And how do you measure such support? Why with money of course!
In terms of betting markets, Colin was very much the exception to the rule – while prices for early favourites like comedian Brian Conley went out before creeping back in again to around 2/1 from 9/4 – Colin’s price at the start of Sunday’s inaugural episode halved – coming in from 20/1 to as little as 8/1 with some firms – which is still not a bad return for a quid.
There was a slight dip when Colin himself took a dip in the unforgiving waters of the jungle – indicating, with a science I just made up – that the general public like their former Doctors dry.
The price went out to around 12/1 and pretty much stayed in that area until the end of Sundays programme where we found out the general public very much like to torture self-serving Tory MPs and squeamish girls who everybody is shamelessly waiting to watch shower under waterfall equally.
As of today, prices have drifted slightly (25/1 is the highest offered so far), so the onus then is really to back the Sixth Doctor now – perhaps you could donate your winnings to a charity backed by Colin such as The Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths? Even if he doesn’t win, match your stake and donate that…like me.