Published on February 14th, 2012 | by Andrew Reynolds
Wanted: Assistant Script Editor for Doctor Who
I am applying for the recently advertised position of Assistant Script Editor on Doctor Who.
Did you read that sentence? Bold. Crisp. To the point.
It’s this kind of command of the English language (do I have to learn welsh?) that makes me the perfect Script Editor.
Why, in fact, this application original ran on for over two hours until I cut a needless car chase out of the second act.
This current draft – on pink papers – displays a more fluid narrative line to me wanting the job and, in a dramatic conclusion on board an oil rig, me getting the job.
It’s this kind of bold storytelling that makes me perfect to join the Doctor Who team.
I’ve always loved Doctor Who. I started watching from a young age where, back in the day, they all used to live in a house together – then a shop.
It wasn’t until Matthew Corbett left that I stopped watching.
I see you’re looking for someone who is able to provide ‘research support to the script team’ Well, I researched the word ‘Team’ and it turns out there’s no ‘I’ in ‘Team’. So according to Google I’m now spelling team right.
It’s this attention to detail and grasp of the facts that makes me the ideal candidate for this position.
In terms of on the job experience; Yes, I have administrative skills. In fact I was once left in charge of a mechanic’s office where a Mrs Sheln commented that I was: “an inadequate waste of space” hinting that I was already destined for a life away from the Taunton branch of Kwik-Fit (plus I didn’t mention the fact that she smelt like a barn on Facebook showing that I can indeed handle confidential information correctly).
I’m a productive and active member of our local theatre group and have worked with some of the finest actors Norton Fitzwarren has to offer. My adaptation of Kenneth Branagh’s Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein attracted a record number of attendee’s. It would have been more but my Aunt had Gout.
So to ‘fade out’ this application (I am fluent in the ‘industry’ lingo too) I would just like to reiterate that I’m a highly intelligent renowned creative writer with years of experience and a keen eye for detail. Plus, I’m two payments away from owning my own laptop.
I think it speaks volumes about my professionalism that I didn’t put a smiley face at the end of that sentence.
Martin Amis (Mrs.)