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Published on August 16th, 2011 | by The Valeyard

The Valeyard Judges: Let’s Kill Hitler Prequel

Greetings lesser mortals, it is I, the Doctor’s dark side personified (hang on, isn’t that a spoiler?! -Ed). Quiet, human.

Living in a world where so much of Classic Who, and Series 23 in particular, is ignored by current so-called fans of the show I have found it necessary to find alternative means of employment.

Once whole galaxies trembled in my wake and empires fell and rose at my slightest whim. Once I was the ultimate destiny of the last of the Time Lords!

Now I’m a reviewer on Kasterborous.

But from this latest set back I shall rise once again from the shadow of my past self and crush the universe once again in the dark grasp of Gallifrey.

But for just now; a review.

Not the best of starts one must admit. Hard to say much about 2 minutes of footage where my so called better half doesn’t say anything and just listens to Pond wittering on.

“Hi Doctor. I love you, Doctor. Please save my baby, Doctor. Me, me, me.”

Where’s the

“I’m sorry I gave birth to a weapon that’ll kill you”?

No

“Thanks for raising an entire army to come and rescue me”?

Oh no, it’s just all about her isn’t it? I tell you; when I finally rise again she’ll be my first victim. Damn ginger companions. And damn their partiality to ginger coloured drinks.

Irn Bru, Irn Bru, Irn Bru………

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6 Responses to The Valeyard Judges: Let’s Kill Hitler Prequel

  1. Bobbygaga says:

    Made in Scotland. From girders.

  2. darthg1nger says:

    “Now I’m a reviewer on Kasterborous.” alol

  3. DavidF says:

    It isn’t a prequel. If it were, it would have been released AFTER the episode (while being set before it). The narrative structure of a prequel assumes that the reader/viewer has seen the main episode/story first.

    • Charlie says:

      “The narrative structure of a prequel assumes that the reader/viewer has seen the main episode/story first.”

      - Not necessarily.

  4. John Harley says:

    The Valeyard was a fantastic creation but what a shame he was never made an official Doctor…

    • The Valeyard says:

      Excuse me?

      Not an official Doctor?

      Infernal cheek! You just made the list.

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