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Published on June 27th, 2011 | by Andrew Reynolds

The Starz Savings and Loan Scheme

Have you had a spectacular explosion on TV and now can’t afford to pay the rest of your bills? Are your grips planning to run an electrical current through your Mercedes unless you pay them what they’re owed? Have the caterers run out of moss and dust to feed the dissatisfied crew?

With debt, the outlook can sometimes feel bleak. Nobody understands the strain you’re under while you genuinely entertain the idea of making next seasons antagonist a jiffy bag of sentient paper clips, just to make ends meet.

In these tough economic times, where budgetary constraints have resulted in less buck and more of a slight fizzle than a huge bang, it makes sense to spread the cost of your Torchwood into one consolidated American cash settlement, and here at Starz Savings and Loans were always happy to help.

When Mr R T Davies approached us he was looking for away to make a big global thriller but not lose the shirt off his back.

Thanks to our consolidation plan, he’s got his wish and couldn‘t wait to tell the BBC:

“In a time when budgets are tight, it’s great to have an infusion of cash from America that we can have fun with – and do some big brave stuff with.”

To think that before we set up an account for him he was contemplating shooting Torchwood in Mexico with an all puppet cast.

When Mrs J Gardner sat down with one of our advisors she comforted to hear that she would have total control over just where her show was heading:

“The joy of it wasn’t that we sold the format to the Americans and then waved goodbye to it. Of course budgets are shrinking, but it was about working smart. In pooling the money we got a bigger show for a better price.”

You too can make your dramatic dreams a celluloid reality if you choose to consolidate your budget issues with The Starz Savings and Loans scheme!


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About the Author


Everyone has a favourite Doctor and mine - just for his honesty, his fairness and his ability to not notice the Master's awful, awful disguises/anagrams (Sir Gilles Estram!?!) - has to be the Fifth Doctor, Peter Davison. The stories didn’t serve him as well as his acting served those stories.

One Response to The Starz Savings and Loan Scheme

  1. avatar BJAMES says:

    So it’s not just that I, personally, have been eating too much cheese. Other persons have noticed this interesting twist of events that benefit no parties but the BBC. The empty headed suits behind the desks, and the greedy parasites that hold their leashes ought to be taking pay cuts to share in the alleged “pain”, if times are tough, maybe even losing their jobs in some cases, rather than a loyal (and large) group of fans who make their sorry existences possible, being disrespected. The American Money pays for half (or more) of the new Torchwood, and the UK STILL doesn’t know when they will get to see it? Doctor Who becomes a bigger worldwide success than it ever was before, and we are getting fewer episodes next year? Like I said in another post, meet the new boss(es), same as the old boss(es), only completely without tact and any sense of decency this time. Dare I say it, maybe that talk of the BBC’s days being numbered should actually be considered a good thing. You don’t see the American Cable Networks screwing fans of successful shows like “True Blood”, do you? Maybe Doctor Who and Torchwood belong in that creative environment, where Show Runners (and Creators)maintain their vision and creative control without having their budgets and viewing timetables slashed and torn. Granted, a lot of the successful shows on American Cable cost less than Doctor Who, or Torchwood, but the merchandising royalties (on Doctor Who alone) more than close that difference. Maybe the BBC should be renamed “Fox”? Joss Whedon might smile at that, because at least people like Steven Moffat aren’t getting openly fucked just yet, like he did. But I fear that time is coming…………….

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