Firstly we had the nano-second clip featured in the BBC’s jigonistic trailer for new drama, then the cast scrubbed themselves up and layered on the moody for a series of synopsis for their alter egos and now the titles for all ten episodes have been released via Starz website.
The titles run as follows with a handy (and completely useless) guide to just what the episodes might be about that you can cut out and keep if you don’t particularly like your monitor:
1. The New World - The original subtitle for the series which was dropped in favour of Miracle Day. Rumours that the title alludes to an episode where Captain Jack (John Barrowman) materialises in 17th Century as Captain John Smith, who has to broker a peace between the Native Americans and the English settlers – while falling in love with Pocahontas (Eve Myles) remain as ephemeral as The Colours of the Wind.
2. Rendition - The title alludes to the legalise for the process after extradition has taken place where a criminal/suspect is handed over to the requesting party- this would seem to refer to Oswald Danes (Bill Pullman) the child molester who survives his own execution and is released from prison on the technicality of ‘not being dead’.
3. Dead of Night - Strange things happen in the dead of night perhaps this is where we get to see the people on the rally march wearing the sad face masks as glimpsed in the BBC trailer? Could it be the moment where the now immortal human race run riot? Or it could be a remake of the Ealing Horror classic of the same name featuring John Barrowman as the possessed ventriloquist dummy?
4. Escape to LA - In this episode Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) is again forced to work for the President – this time to retrieve a weapon…no, wait…In this episode someone escapes to LA. Though that seems strange when LA is usually a den of iniquity at the best of times. I doubt the ability to live forever would have improved matters. Unless its a metaphorical escape and we’re treated to scenes of Jack and the gang getting it on down the Sunset Strip. That i would watch.
5. The Categories of Life - If everyone could live forever and new people were being born all the time: how would you decide to manage the growing population of the world? Baiting civil liberties and the general quality of life it looks like it’ll be time for a lot of hand wringing from the Torchwood team.
6.The Middle Men- Anything give such a mundane bureaucratic title such as The Middle Men is either hiding a sinister cabal of agents, taking out the common or garden members of society (the office casualties, the spinsters, Argos employees) in our now pressed for space world or is the even more horrifying prospect of a title to an ITV 1 sitcom…shudder.
7. Immortal Sins – Being able to live forever means living with whatever grievous sins you may have committed. It also means coming to terms with a world where there is no punishment in the afterlife either. It feels as though we may be heading down an avenue previously explored in Russell T. Davies’ The Second Coming only now in a country that parts of which would happily claim to be the most fervently religious country in the world. Good Luck Russell!
8. End Of The Road – As poets Boys II Men once said in their similarly titled song:
Girl I can’t sleep at night without holding you tight
Girl, each time I try I just break down and cry
Pain in my head oh I’d rather be dead
Spinnin’ around and around.
Is this the end of the beautiful friendship between Jack and Gwen? Gwen and Rhys? Jack and that bloke he picked up last night? Odds are that even though the doors to the afterlife are out of order someone will have to make a choice between reversing the effects of Miracle Day and losing someone they love.
It just wouldn’t be Torchwood if someone wasn’t exploiting strange events and harbouring secrets involving other world matters for there own personal gain? When will they improve their screen process?
9. The Gathering – Perhaps the condition affecting the whole human race has extraterrestrial origins? The Gathering has distinctly B-Movie overtones. Unless its just an ominous name for the 1st annual Torchwood Workers Picnic.
10. The Blood Line – Maybe the Miracle Day incident is in fact a blood virus? Perhaps the same regeneration virus that affects Captain Jack? The only person who can cure the human race. Will Jack sacrifice himself for the greater good and will he get a cookie after giving his blood? Only time will tell!