Dearest Amelia Pond,
What have you gotten yourself into now?Â Either you’re really, really frightened about something, or you can’t believe how terrible that episode of Glee was.Â Probably a combination, eh?
You should know, Pond, that you have a lot of fanboys on the other side of the telly who would save you from whatever predicament you’re in without hesitation.Â But first you have to answer this simple question: where the bloody E-Space are you???
Bleeding Cool posted the above picture of you as part of an analysis of all the major shots in the BBC America trailer (incidentally, follow that last link to find a couple of similar snaps of you) for the next series of Doctor Who (that’s a show we’ve got over in our universe about you and your friend, the Doctor), and we couldn’t help but notice that the corridor you’re standing in wouldn’t have looked out of place in the days when your Time Lord companion used to say, “Multi-coloured overcoats are cool!”
Here’s what we think we can rule out, judging from your location’s hexagonal qualities: you’re not in a pirate ship, nor do you appear to be in a doll house.Â This leaves us with few alternatives: something from your trip to America, the TARDIS, or an ice-cream parlour at nighttime.Â Judging from the fact that this snap came from the BBC America trailer, which focused primarily on your stateside expedition, it’s probably the first one.Â Although we suppose it could also be a re-vamped Dalek, Sontaran, or [insert common foe here] ship as well.
Anyone who may have intercepted our letter to you is encouraged to speculate on where you might be in the nifty comment thread we’ve tacked on to the bottom.
We especially don’t want you to be the one who we’re told is (in the words of Doctor Who Magazine, a publication we use to stalk you) “marked for death,” so if you let us know where you are, we promise we’ll try to save you as soon as possible; otherwise, you’ll have to wait at least April 23rd when the Doctor, River, Rory, and you return to BBC One and BBC HD in The Impossible Astronaut.
Your loving fans,