Once upon a space, the Doctor, Amy, Rory, and River took command of a Judoon army and sent them to Bo Go Mo the Flo So Jo out of a brigade of Smilers. Unfortunately, the rhinos were gradually deleted by Cybermen before the Doctor was cornered and trampled on by a pair of Pandoricas, causing the premature end of the universe.
Sound like a ridiculous game of chess? It is.
The Doctor Who chess set, so brand-spanking new it’s not even out yet, features the blue King Doctor and Queen Amy, along with Bishop River, Knight Rory, Rook TARDIS, and Pawn Judoon up against an army of black Series 5 villains, who aren’t easy to make out in the only image currently available, but it looks like the pawns are Smilers, the queen’s a Weeping Angel, the knights are Cybermen, and the rooks are Pandoricas. If anyone can make out the king (a Dalek, possibly?) and the Bishops, we’d be much obliged. The battle takes place across a Pandorica-faced board with handy camps for captive pieces on either side emblazoned with the Doctor Who logo.
Long-time Whovians may recall that this isn’t the first Doctor Who chess-related merchandise to hit the market; back in the ’90s a pewter collector’s set was released with 66 interchangeable pieces (about half of which are quite hard to come by) including all eight classic Doctors as options for Kings, as well as the Master, the companions, and Dalek and K-9 pawns. It came with a carefully-crafted board and, if you were especially
rich lucky, even a TARDIS-shaped display case for all your pieces!
With all the rare parts included, the pewter set is worth £2,995; a slightly higher price than the Series 5 set’s retail value of £29.99. If you’d prefer to have prisms with the characters’ faces in them for pieces rather than actual miniature statues, or if you just don’t want to pay 100 times as much money for said figures, pre-order the newer set.