Published on March 20th, 2011 | by Greig Byrne
Dr Who and the Gingers
When our latest Doctor was rebirthed amidst the fire and brimstone of an apparently doomed TARDIS one of his first concerns, whilst facing death as quickly as heâ€™d just arrived, was if he was at long last one of a dying breed.
A breed common, one must therefore infer, to both Time Lord and Human. Â A breed quite possibly unique across the space time continuum itself.
What astral being could someone as gifted and other-worldly as the Doctor aspire to?
Ginger and Green should always be seen
Oh yes. Â Just look at the evidence. Â Theyâ€™re all over the shop. Â Can Gingers be a common thread throughout an infinitely varied cosmos?
Whether flung into the dark reaches of space (where no Carrot has gone before), entrenched as the last bastion of redness before mighty Shadow forces or speaking gibberish in a confounding Luc Besson movie, the influence of the freckled has been felt to infinity – and quite possibly beyond.
Ginger women – everywhere you can shake a Phaser/PPG at.
Why has the Doctor expressed such an interest in this â€œdying breedâ€? Â First one must ponder the doomed and tragic fate Gingers face. Â Itâ€™s all down to a recessive gene: it takes two Gingers to make another, or at least two with the Ginger Gene, if not Ginger hair.
I therefore submit that given the Doctorâ€™s belief that he can simply manifest his Gingerosity without said need for the gene pairing (but a mere regeneration) itâ€™s incumbent upon him to repopulate the future-extinct Ginger race.
Itâ€™s only proper:
Would Picard have been able to fend of the gruesome Borg if not unburdened of his maudlin introspection by a pouting Dr Crusher? Â Would the all-conquering Shadows not have been stopped it not for hybrid Ginger-path Lyta Alexander? Â And what on this Earth would an enormous slice of Dr Who fans do without Amy Pond?
The Doctor understands this and has taken steps to remedy it. Â And itâ€™s a long term strategy. Â Consider:
Liz Shaw, Turlough, Mel Bush, Donna Noble and the aforementioned apple of the Doctorâ€™s eye, Pond, all served as Ginger assistants and quite apart from his protective stewardship they could easily have been subjected to furtive genetic examinations. Â He probably has a pair of particularly powerful reading glasses that scan DNA.
Donna attempts to perfect â€œThe Bonnyâ€, as perfected by Mel Bush.
Is the future of the Ginger race assured with his doting oversight? Â Or may we assume retrospective success given that Gingers have indeed been here at all? Â (Hey for all we know we were wiped out already and he brought us back).
Regardless, heâ€™s got an agenda. Â And for the sake of contemporary sci-fi if not my great, great, great, great, great, great grandkids, I hope he succeeds.
Then again they wouldnâ€™t have to put up with jibes of Fanta-Pants at hyperschool, would they?