In a cataclysmic shock, it turns out that Johnny Depp wonâ€™t be piloting the TARDIS in a Doctor Who movie.
io9 have spoken to the BBC who have said there are â€˜no plansâ€™ to bring the Doctor to the big screen and that any rumours about such an idea are â€˜pure speculation.â€™
Former show runner Russell T. Davies, the man supposedly going behind the backs of people he has worked with on Who to produce this movie, has also spoken out to SFX confirming its all gubbins:
â€œSomeone sits in New Zealandâ€, he wearily told us (except with a few more expletives), â€œTypes out a rumour, and I spend the next three days dealing with that rumour!â€
A muted and illiterate “fake Davies” was quoted in a long since deleted article from Pubarticles, saying:
â€œThere will be brand new concepts and the film will be just as adventurous, scary and humorous as the television programme. But none of us working the film will forget what makes the character great and interesting and the long-time fans will not be disappointed because yes, the Daleks make an appearance.â€
Not only is it disrespectful to Russell T. Davies but itâ€™s a slap in the face to anyone who put their heart and soul into bringing the past seasons of Doctor Who to our screens.
The rumour with its uninspired choice of the â€˜quirkyâ€™ Depp, is so lacking in imagination its not too difficult to believe a desperate studio would turn to him.
So the net result of this insane rumour is that one unimaginative person, imitating another causes a thousand news agencies to go ape, lose all common sense (who would announce a movie rumour on a website whose top articles include “Better and Effective Ways to Grow Taller” and “The History of Hello Kitty”!?) and report any old rubbish just so they don’t appear to be out of the loop/noose.
Sighâ€¦ if there are any poor souls out there still clinging to this rumour or any other Who Movie speculation; please, seek help- go to the iPlayer and watch hour after glorious hour of genuine, lovingly crafted Doctor Who and, for God sake, donâ€™t go near the internet, youâ€™ll hurt yourself.