Published on May 13th, 2010 | by Christian Cawley
SFX has revisited the superb Torchwood: Children of Earth miniseries from 2009 by making it the subject of one of its panto-ish Scriptease features.
Torchwood: Children of Earth starred John Barrowman as Jack Harkness, Eve Myles as Gwen Cooper, Gareth David-Lloyd as Ianto Jones and Pater Capaldi as Frobisher, and was writeen by Russell T Davies, John Fay and James Moran.
SFX’s version is a little less sophisticated, although it certainly gets the point across – rather forcibly at times. There is a definite feel of Sixth Former panto about the following:
Somewhere in the BRITISH GOVERNMENT, MALCOLM TUCKER from THE THICK OF IT is acting his socks off and trying to remember not to swear. He is in charge of liaising with the ALIENS, who have been using the CHILDREN to announce their arrival the next day.
JOHN FROBISHER: You can build a spaceship but you canâ€™t use Hotmail to warn us instead? Invest in some broadband, guys.
THE 456: Hey, youâ€™re Malcolm Tucker! Go on, insult us. Youâ€™re so funny when you insult people!
FROBISHER: Iâ€™m not Malcolm Tucker, Iâ€™m John Frobisher.
THE 456: Wait a minute, didnâ€™t we last see you in Pompeii around 79AD?
FROBISHER: Just f***ing shut the f*** up you miserable pieces of c****** alien fleabags or Iâ€™ll d****** the lot of you!
THE 456: Yay! We love you, Malcolm!
Read the full skit on the SFX website. By the so-called Reduced SFX Company, other Scriptease subjects have included Stargate: SG1 Series 1, and The Ghost Whisperer.